PDF version of the book by Ken Wilson.
Many marriages today are like the house built upon the sand. When all the children leave home and the nest is empty, some parents have no idea who they are or what to do at this point. Their identity as individuals has been so tied up in parenting that they are struggling with this apparent vacuum in their lives. They then begin to realize that their marriage needs some shoring up in the relating to one another category.
They discover that their marriage has been built upon a weak foundation of dreams. Because in dreams the mind does not have to distinguish between reality and fantasy, one is able to create without restraint. Often, therefore, dreams are the starting point for successful endeavors; however, dreams not followed by adequate planning usually do not come true.
Marriages built on dreams are risky because dreams do not consider the disappointments that are inevitable in every marriage. When the rains of reality, and the winds of stress burst against such marriages, the relationship that holds them together crumbles. Much more is involved in fulfilling dreams than merely expecting them to come true.
The highest happiness on earth is in marriage. Every man who is happily married is a successful man even if he has failed in everything else. And every man whose marriage is a failure is not a successful man even if he has succeeded in everything else. - William Lyon Phelps
Someone has suggested that there are two basic causes for trouble in marriage: (1) not finding in marriage what one expected to find, and (2) not expecting what one actually finds. As couples marry, they expect stability, security, and predictability in their marriages.
Stability is freedom from change. The word stability actually means resistance to change. It is the element that causes something, when disturbed, to restore itself to the original condition. We do not generally like change and usually resist it.
Security is freedom from want. We want our needs to be fulfilled, especially by our marriage partner.
Predictability is being able to know in advance and therefore avoid surprises. Having the ability to forecast the future, at least in a general way, gives us a feeling of control.
There are periods of time in the lives of most couples in which one or even all three of these expectations are not fulfilled. One reason for unfulfilled expectations is that they may have been unrealistic from the beginning. Then you throw children into the mix and more complications arise in the marriage. The fact of whether or not it is a Christian home, will determine how problems in the marriage will be dealt with. It may be assumed that, if both parents believe in Christianity, the home would be a Christian home. My experience as a counselor does not necessarily support such a conclusion. It is not true, that all parents, who claim to believe in the Bible, create a Christian environment at home.
The word create implies that someone has the ability to bring something into existence. Although Christian parents do not have direct power to create such an environment, they do have tremendous influence to develop such a home (Proverbs 22:6).
The most important principle in this book is: God blesses a Christian Home. A home is Christian when it is built upon faith in Christ and a never-ending dependence upon God's Word for guidance and authority in the lives of its members.
A Christian home is not a guarantee against problems, sin, or alienation of its members. It should be a model for problem solving and nurturing, and an anchor for supporting its members in a life based on God's absolute blueprint. A Christian home then becomes a safe haven for its members and a most powerful force for good.
It was the goal of this author to biblically define a Christian home, to explore its values and motivate those who read this book to make such a home their goa1, realizing that such a task will ultimately bring God's blessings in their lives (John 10:10).
